An apology to Blunell

[LongRunner]

Read the warnings on the first post

Old comments aside, you still do the loveliest art I've ever seen; with nice OCs, good taste in general entertainment, and your old music still sounds awesome.
The “Students Attention Chart” has strengthened my conviction to stay out of college and university too
(I've recently checked the local art galleries out of curiosity; there's nothing worth getting there, which is why only old people bother )

Before I finish, though, I'll just address a more-general concern:

The Golden Rule
The best reason to follow it isn't even for your opponent's sake – it's because each time you're harsh on them, it increases the risk that they'll snap at another innocent person (or get clingier towards people they do trust). I've suffered through far too many overly-harsh people before (including during 2022)

As I've edited into post 8, every competent person I know has been at the limit of their time and energy – and far too many “professionals” I've encountered are idiots who lack a basic understanding (like child psychologists who wanted to just bring me down to average intelligence ), or don't even try to help once it gets even slightly hard (Can Do Albany recently tried to pin the blame on me when a young woman there was feeling uneasy – way to kick me while I'm down).
Those useless “services” like Can('t) Do and Headspace (their heads are comprised of empty space), unsurprisingly, are readily available…

I also find it triggering when those people talk to me (and generally act) like teachers; I think much the same of them as Satou-kun's Hopeless Squad does:

Sadly my teachers didn't actually glomp a student, so we couldn't punish them like the Squad did in the next scene. Maybe in an alternate reality…

Die, Kaieda-sensei!.png (1.09 MiB) Viewed 200 times

So I'm not completely better-off than you

[LongRunner]

Read the warnings on the first post

As much as I try to confess in full, there are details which still take a while to recall. Here are some of those:

• Although it may have seemed a bit personal of me to suggest instant-messaging in my email, I had a perfectly platonic reason behind the suggestion:
  Instant messaging is far easier to course-correct when (not if) it wanders off, than is the case for delayed communications. With no tone-of-voice in text, this is genuinely a big deal (and no, I'm not putting my voice out there – I could try a computer voice if you need a compromise)…
• I have a very acute sense of hypocrisy even by Asperger's standards; so when you leaked a bit from my email (after having been bossy about your own privacy), it did piss me off and I therefore couldn't really accept the signal from the first block. (Even though your approach was decidedly dysfunctional, I wouldn't have minded if you'd at least respected my privacy.) Hypocrisy loses people's respect for you, and it's not even a voluntary response on their part.
• My own forum thread was actually my attempt to get away from clinging to you, by trying to gain interest from other members.
• It's OK to be overwhelmed, but it's important to be able to say so gracefully (without antagonizing the other person).
  Invoking “discomfort” is less effective than it may seem, since as often as not (including in our case), it is/was mutual on both sides.
• I also thought up a totally insane scheme (far more so than anything I did send) during 2020 – just be glad I didn't go through with that

Maybe I placed too much faith in you to follow the underlying logic, or whatever…

In hindsight I should have been more attentive to which “side” of you was responding, but we all know what they say about hindsight…
I don't even pity you; I believe you're still capable of being a decent person. But if you demand accountability, it has to go both ways.

Even if you think I “don't get it”, if you'd like to resolve anything then you have to at least try explaining your side (and logically at that – emotional appeals won't work). (Don't judge me by my company, either – I really don't get the choice I'd like in that…)

Anyway I've removed one of my earlier post sections which was pushing it…
It's not that easy to get them right though, because I have to somehow be both creative and judging, and as Yanni said a while ago:

Creativity and judgment are opposites. They are both valid, but they cannot both exist at the same place at the same time. Creativity is a form of surrender. It is a frame of mind. As soon as you use judgment, you terminate the creative process - walk outside it, observe it and ask thus you're not creative anymore.

Therefore you can judge his music all you like, but you can't reasonably put the burden on him

Hope
For years, I had little hope of finding a solid (new) power-board; I got there early last year.
I had even less expectation of finding good anime/manga; I've found that too (more than one, even! )
As most people would be, I was also anxious about moving from Windows to Linux (Windows 7 being the last version I could tolerate), but that wasn't so hard in the end either (granted, I already ran mostly-FOSS applications or failing that, at least stuck to standard file formats) and I was soon relieved.

Obviously none of those are really related to your problems, but the general point is:
Sometimes you'll only find an answer by straying from the beaten path (or indeed all visible paths), but it's usually out there somewhere…