Isn't email spam lovely! (sarcasm)...

[shovenose]

Dear Beneficiary, We apologize for the delay of your payment and all the inconveniences and Hiccups that we might have caused you. However, we were having some minor problems with our payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have held us stranded and indolent, not having the Prerequisite to devote our 100% endowment in accrediting foreign payments. We now wish to notify you that your over due inheritance/contract funds has Finally been gazette to be released and transferred to you without any more Hitches as previously encountered. meanwhile, during the rectification of our payment system we discovered that one Mrs. Janet White has forwarded his banking information to our bank stating that you instructed him to claim this funds on your behalf. Please find below his Banking information for your-re-confirmation: Mrs. Janet White Bank Name: Citi Bank Account Numbe: 1043903 Routing:2093841 Address: United state of america Urgently confirm to us if you have authorized Mrs. Janet White to claim Your funds on your behalf to avoid making payment into any wrong accounts Because your name was found in the original list of beneficiary whose fund is Over due for payment. We want to state categorically that we shall not be Liable for any miss-direction of transfer due to your failure to give us proper Directive/reconfirmation. Else we shall commence transfer Modality with Mrs. Janet White on your behalf. In view of this you are requested to advice us immediately for appropriate Correction, if any, and send us email for proper rectification of the transferwith your valid details so that your fund valued US$9,500.000.00 (Nine million five Hundred thousand United States dollars) will be remitted to your nominated Bank account as scheduled within 2-3 working days. You are urgently required to reconfirm to us the followings: (1) Your Full Name: (2) Residential Address: (3) Phone, Fax and Mobile #: (4) Profession, Age and Marital Status: (5) Company/Business Name: 6) Bank account details (if necessary) As soon as this information is received by this Panel, you shall be instructed On how to get this Fund released directly to you from our Nominated Bank . For your information, this office will not be held responsible for any cancellation or delay of your fund if we do comply with the requirement. Best regards, Dr Andrew Goodman Director ( Paying Unit) Foreign Payment Office(FPO).

[shovenose]

Here's another one
They're all equally stupid!

Mr Albert Wonguba,
Regional Manager,
Zenith Bank Ltd,
Kumasi Main Branch,
Adeabeba, Ahodwo Road,
Kumasi, Ghana.

Attn:

I got your contact during my search for a reliable, honest and a trust worthy person to entrust this huge transfer project with. My name is Mr Albert Wonguba; I am the Regional manager of the above mentioned Bank in the Northern region of Republic of Ghana. I am a Ghanaian married with two kids. I have contacted you so that this transaction can benefit the both of us, knowing you are advanced in age with the fear of God, but if you are not willing to get involved in the Deal, do not REPLY THIS MAIL, as you will never hear from me again.

I am writing to solicit your assistance in the transfer of Us$12,500.000.00USD.This fund is the excess of what my branch in which I am the manager made as profit during the last year. I have already submitted an approved end of the year report for the year 2010 to my head office Here in Ghana and they will never know of this excess. I have since then, Placed this amount of US$12,500.000.00 on a suspense account without a beneficiary.

As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this money thus; I am compelled to request your assistance to receive this money into your bank account. I intend to part 40% of this fund to you while 60% shall be for me. I do need to stress that there are practically no risk involved in this. It is going to be a bank-to-bank transfer. All I need is for you to stand as the original depositor of this fund.

If you accept this offer, I will appreciate your timely response. Note that you are free to come to Ghana for confirmation.
Please, this is my alternative contact: albert_wong57@hotmail.com

With Regards,
Mr Albert Wonguba.

[shovenose]

And one last one...

Compliments of the day,

My name is Ped i am currently employed as a bank executive in my sub region with a good knowledge in international finance.

I am contacting you with trust and confidence that the propositon I am about to relay to you would be of beneficial to you and I.

I am seeking your permission, if i can present you as next of kin to my late client who passed away.

My client dead without leaving a relative who can inherit his estate.

As you may not be aware the law in my country states that If there are no relatives who can inherit under the rules of intestacy,

the estate passes to the State. This is known as bona vacantia.

If you are interested please let me know by sending an email as soon as you can, so that i can give you more info.

As you may realise this is sent to you with the trust.

Thank you and I await your urgent reply.

Best Regards,

Ped Wang

[c_hegge]

[shovenose]

I would be rich if those were real

[shovenose]

More:

Dear Sir My name is Mr Rick Smith of Fund Recovery CommitteeNational Assembly Abuja this committee is set up byFederal Government of Nigeria under National AssemblyReform of 2004 to Fight Corruption, Arrest andprosecute Corrupt/Fraudulent officials, then Recoverand pay back those people whose money was stolen from. We have received information from our monitoringnetwork that you have made so many payment to Nigeria,Cotonu and other part of the World in recent timeswithout receiving any money in your Account, furtherinvestigation reveals that you have little or no moneyin your Account due to many payment you sent to Nigeriaand other countries. Following the on going re-branding of Nigeria and imagelaundering being promulgated by Nigeria Government tothe International Communities, the Federal Governmentof Nigeria have instructed us to compensate you withthe sum of $700.000 ( Seven Hundred Thousand UnitedState Dollars) from the sum of money which we haverecovered from some Fraudulent Government officialssuch as formal Central Bank of Nigeria Governor Prof.Charles Soludo and Managing Directors of other NigeriaBanks who is now arrested. We can be able to pay you this $700,000 in piece mealof $4800 daily through Western Union or Money Gram sothat you will have quick money to solve your financialproblem. In case you do not want payment by westernunion or money gram, we can also transfer to yourAccount small payment of $35,000 every week,this smallamount is very easy to enter your account because it isallow in USA and all over the world to transfer suchsmall amount of money without any question or delayfrom your Country financial authorities. Note since you have been fighting to receive large sumof money for the past months/years from yourContract/inheritance payment without success, it iswise and better for you to first receive thiscompensation. Lastly the secret why you could notreceive any large sum of money through Bank to BankTransfer is that USA Government no longer permit largesum of money to come from African Countries due tocurrent trend of Terrorist activities and moneyLaundering, therefore anybody telling you he will payyou large sum of money is onlyfooling you. In case you want to commence receiving your dailypayment of $4800 from tomorrow, then reply this mailtoday, and kindly let us know if you are alsointerested on receiving the weekly payment of $35,000 Your Full NameYour Contact AddressYour Direct telephone. Mr Rick SmithPayment SupervisorNational AssemblyAbuja NigeriaCall +234-8124106121

[shovenose]

More:

Dear , Please, however strange or surprising this contact might seem to you as we have not meet personally or had any dealings in the past, I humbly ask that you take due consideration of its importance and immense benefit. However, this is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you to honor against your will. My name is Henry Tham a Business Manager with Singapore Banking Corporation (Cambodia office), am as well an account officer to a deceased customer of our bank, that shares the same last name as yours, who died as a result of accident bleeding along Cambodian Thailand way on November 16th 2007. The account of the deceased worth the total sum of 25 million United States Dollars with us has been unclaimed due to unavailability of next of kin/relatives to claim the fund. In accordance with the escheat laws in Cambodia as a kingdom, the Board Directors of the bank met forth night ago and resolved to turn the fund of the deceased over to Government pause having waited for too long without the deceased relatives/next of kin surfacing and if this is done, invariably, the funds will end up to become Government property and it is as a result of this that am moved to contact you considering the fact that you share almost the same name with the deceased. In view of this, am seeking your cooperation and understanding to stand as the deceased next of kin to enable us claim the inheritance before the period given by the bank elapse. If you are interested and in agreement with me, get back to me quickly and I will send to you all the information you may need to proceed without coming to Cambodia, and be rest assured that it is risk free project and the proceed/fund will be shared 60% me -40% you once the fund are expatriated into your account anywhere in the world. I await your prompt response. Regards. Mr. Henry Tham

[duckula]

More:

Dear , Please, however strange or surprising this contact might seem to you as we have not meet personally or had any dealings in the past

lol tell him it should be "have not met". The past participle form of meet is met.

[shovenose]

Duckula the grammar nazi you're right, which banker would write that badly

[duckula]

Duckula the grammar nazi you're right, which banker would write that badly

Even though I make a great deal of grammar mistakes (and a gramma mistake once) myself, I knew it should be met.